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Open Letter

From an Ex-Christian Christian

Recently I have been encountering on the web some of the numerous de-conversion stories of ex-Christians and the questions which many of them have asked which led to them leaving the Church. My de-conversion story is not so different from many others so the details here will be scant.

I started asking the same questions at the age of twelve but I did not leave the Church until I was eighteen. The primary reason for this was that until then I was at an Anglican boarding school.

The struggle and pain of this departure was great, so I can well understand what others have, and are, experiencing. However, I recognized something in that pain. This was that the cause of it was that although I could not accept the irrationality of the Church teachings, my love for Christianity had not diminished but was, and remains, very strong.

My response to de-conversion was, I think, somewhat different from most. I was convinced that the answers to those questions were there and I set out to find them. Gradually I did begin to find them (I continually find more), and what I found truly amazed me. Christianity was, and remains, a very spiritually profound reality. Now my problem was whether or not the Church recognized this.

Fourteen years after my de-conversion a priest challenged me about why I was not in the Church. In response I told him something of what I had discovered and asked him if it was really to be found in the Church. Yes, he replied, come and see. I found that it was there.

I returned to the Church for three reasons. One was to see if I agreed with this priest. Secondly my love for Christianity had never diminished. Last, but not least of all, was that I had discovered what it was that had caused my de-conversion. I knew that there would be others who would be having the same questions I had. I did not want them to experience the pain and sense of great loss which I had experienced. I would not wish that on anyone. If I could help them I would. This is the reason why I am writing this letter.

What was it that I had discovered about de-conversion? In many cases, in fact I would say in most cases, de-conversion results from a deepening of faith, not a loss of it. I know this sounds like a very strange statement to make and I will explain it more fully on the Questions and Answers.

I have one purpose in writing this letter. This is to try and assist others to ease the pain and confusion which so often occurs with de-conversion. If the answers I present convince another to return to Christianity, and perhaps even the Church, that is entirely their own choice.

Understanding what this growth to which I refer is all about often takes a little time. Because of this I am starting a cyber community where members can examine the subject together. Membership is open to Christians, Ex-Christians and Non-Christians. The name of this community is Paschal Light and you are invited to us join. If you are interested please click on the link below this letter.

Thank you for visiting this site and I hope that you find it informative.

Yours truly,
Janet Gentles


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